WHO THE BLOODY HELL CARES

Since arriving back in Australia, I am appalled at the nation's obsession with Lara Bingle. So for the sake of my international readers, here's what's going on. Lara Bingle starred in a disastrous failure of an ad for Australian tourism. She should have sunk into obscurity at that point but, this being Australia, she was hired by the Nine network for TV work. Given she was then let go for being horrendously untalented, she should have sunk into obscurity, but this being Australia, she went wildcatting after Aussie sports stars. After a disastrous affair with married AFL footballer Brendan Favola (whom she didn't know was married), she should have sunk into obscurity but, this being Australia, she snagged herself a higher profile cricket star Michael Clarke (pictured). They were called the "Posh and Becks" of Australia (yes I realise how pathetic that makes us seem) and now it is front page news that they could be splitting up. Bingle (who goes through managers faster than underwear) is now with the shonkiest of them all, Max Markson. He appears to be stage managing every moment she makes including "crisis meetings" that just happen to take place at the front windows of his office so that TV crews can film it. It's so obvious and every news service that has fallen for this ruse should be ashamed of themselves. This isn't news. Australia, get a life.

BOOK EM DANNO

OK, I'm still in New York and so overwhelmed by all the pop culture around me, I don't know where to start. So let's start with remakes. V starts on Nine in Australia this Sunday (I think) and watch it because it's hot. But will it be as hot as another re-do HAWAII 5-0? It could have the hottest cast ever with Alex O'Loughlin, Daniel Dae Kim and now Scott Caan (pictured) to play Danno (as in "Book 'em Danno"). Oh yeah, I'll be watching that one. Right now I am watching LIVE WITH REGIS AND KELLY although Anderson Cooper is fill-in host for Regis. Yesterday Tom Hanks said Kathie Lee instead of Kelly (someone in Australia, GET THIS SHOW!). Ialso winding down and filming its final episodes which could be why I saw Michael Urie (who plays Marc) rushing down the streets of Broadway. Or maybe he was just running late for the gay play he is doing here, I was just relieved to see him so I didn't have to go hom saying the only other celeb I saw was Bindi bloody Irwin (having breakfast with her mother and a bunch of old ladies but hey, at least she wasn't wearing khaki). A big screen movie of GILLIGAN ISLAND is coming and if you think that is as bad as it gets, you obviously didn't see Sarah Palin doing stand-up comedy on THE JAY LENO SHOW. Look, I really should be talking about my (front row) experiences at THE VIEW and LETTERMAN but I'm saving that juiciness for another edition. So let's sign off with another promo for THE MARRIAGE REF which has gotten the worst reviews ever. I don't get it - any show that puts Larry David, Ricky Gervais and Madonna together on the same stage is OK with me ...

LET THE SUNSHINE IN

After watching the premiere of THE MARRIAGE REF on NBC last night (straight after the star-studded Canadian Closing Ceremony of the Winter Olympics), how can Seven still be serious about doing a local version? The Olympics finished William Shatner, Michael J Fox and Michael Bauble (how did he go commentating for Foxtel I wonder?) while THE MARRIAGE REF began with Jerry Seinfeld, Kelly Rip and Alec Baldwin (pictured). The preview for Thursday's instalment had an even more alluring panel of Larry Charles, Ricky Gervais and Madonna! Can someone tell me how an Aussie line-up can ever compare to these legends? Seven, let the sun shine in and just show the US version. If it's a huge success and the public seems to want more, then and only then do a local version. Now also while in New York, I have checked out the revival of 1967 hippie musical HAIR. I never did see a Perth production with Nikki Webster and Millsy and can only shudder at what I once saw at the Twin Towns Club with PACIFIC DRIVE's Andre Eikmeier. That cast chose not to do a nude scene but in the Broadway version, they let it all hang out ...